The Cure for Commitment Phobia Revealed!
The first flush of loveâ€¦. When we enter a new relationship we tend to wonder how serious the relationship will be. It is a normal human quality to project into the future with our private fantasies of what could be, even if we have only had one date! Then the dates progress, weeks and months pass, and we enter these weird stages when we know them enough to be sure we like them, but not enough to ask them about their feelings. It is also during this period the unspoken rules and boundaries of a relationship are established, as enough time has passed to see patterns and precedents being set up. Often it is now that we start becoming aware that the person we find ourselves really liking may not be giving to the relationship in the same way or with the same priority and importance that we do. This is when it can start to feel complicated. Itâ€™s a time when it starts to dawn on us that maybe this person is unable to commit.
John and Betty and the same old story… The other day, when I was out for coffee with friends, two friends shared their tales of commitment woe with me.
â€œMike is a fantastic guyâ€, said Betty. â€œHe is everything I ever dreamed of. We have such wonderful times together; itâ€™s just that our contact is so inconsistent. Some weeks we speak to each other daily and Iâ€™ll spend the whole weekend with him. Other weeks I donâ€™t hear from him at all; he doesnâ€™t even return my messages.â€ Then John piped in: â€œAfter my divorce I never thought that I would meet another woman that I could love. Then I found Carol and everything changed. I feel as if we are perfect together and I want us to take our relationship to the next level, but every time I mention anything along the lines of settling down, she seems to withdraw, quickly changes the subject or has a reason to leave the room. I donâ€™t understand it. We are so close in every other way, but this is a topic where she simply wonâ€™t let me in.â€
What I heard were two loving people unsure of what to do and how to move forward. I am sure that if you have dealt with a person who is afraid of commitment you will be able to relate.