The answer is:â€ Yes the definitely can!â€ being needy is not something that we can easily hide. Most of the time itâ€™s so obvious that they can tell from the first date. I will walk you through the most obvious signs of neediness. Understanding where the problem is can help you fix it. No one likes needy, clingy people, this is a turn off for most of us. Hereâ€™s what your date sees and why they might interpret as neediness.
Lack of confidence on the first date. First date ends, you look at them with an insecure smile and ask: â€œDid you have a good time?â€ This might not appear such a big mistake, but your date can interpret it as being insecure. If you were confident you would not even ask if they had a good time, youâ€™d already know. You should be asking them â€œSo, where shall we go next time?â€ You donâ€™t have to use the exact same words, but you get the picture. Confident people know what they want, and this is what we are all attracted to, right? Confident people.
When is a good time to call them? Hereâ€™s a situation when you can have â€œneedyâ€ written all over you. The three days rule is obsolete. No one has to wait so long to call someone they like. This doesnâ€™t not mean you should call them right after you date, to ask if they got home safe, then call again in the morning to ask how they slept. Or, if they havenâ€™t called you back, you start emailing or texting, to ask them if they got your call. Just give them time to breathe and have time to miss you. Use common sense, donâ€™t appear desperate. Call them once, after that, itâ€™s their turn.
You say â€œyesâ€ to everything they say. Ok, we all like to be right and have people agreeing with what we say. But we donâ€™t always expect from our date to say â€œyesâ€ to everything that comes out of our mouth. This translates into:â€ I donâ€™t have an opinion of my own, so Iâ€™ll just go ahead and accept whatever you say and do whatever you want me to.â€ And you donâ€™t want them to think that, do you? Again, we get to confidence. If you are confident and smart, you will stand up for what you think, even if it means contradicting someone you like. Donâ€™t be afraid to disagree sometimes, they might even like you more if you do.
There comes a point when writing articles about relationships and personal development where I get stuck. Itâ€™s hard not to feel that you just end up writing different version of Â the same topics. The truth is this is the case but itâ€™s more of a honest reflection of the way life and relationship themselves unfold. Often we are dealing with the same things over and over, the same themes, the same issues, the same conflicts, the same dilemmas. Each time we go through a cycle we hope for a better understanding or more insight and awareness of whatâ€™s happening .
If only they called more…..
Life ends up feeling like a spiral more than a Â straight line. One of the themes I have talked about before is how relationships are our mirrors to ourselves, how we view others, tells us more about ourselves than the people we are judging or forming opinions on. This is almost an instinctual habit in us that itâ€™s hard at times to really gain distance from, due to how frequently we go about this. In psychic readings the most common occurrence of this is when a person wants other person to be another way in order to make them feel more safe, secure or reassured. For instance someone we are in love with or involved with, becomes emotionally distant and stops communicating. This can then trigger a anxiety or feeling of unease that compels the person to want the other person to go back to the way they were before, to keep loving them or keep giving them the feeling that made them feel so good before. It Â is within the midst of these moments we have a golden opportunity to shift our perceptive, to bring to ourselves more happiness and more contentment.
Its our “thoughts” not the other person that is the problem..
The thought â€œThey should call more oftenâ€ when we are faced with a reality that they donâ€™t and it appears they are not going to, creates a high level of stress and frustration .We put our focus into hoping and wishing they would do what we want. We want our internal discomfort to ease by an external reality that we have no say or no control over. We set ourselves up to feel stressed and unhappy just by the thought â€œThey should call more oftenâ€ which really translate â€œThey should do what I want ,to make me feel what I wantâ€. If we are able to examine this thought and put our focus not shifting reality but shifting the thought.
Relationships as Our Teacher I remember reading how relationships are the number one way to help us grow and develop as people. No matter how many self-help books you read or meditating mantraâ€™s you learn, nothing beats relationships as a means to expand ourselves. I would hear or read this theory time and time again and I understood it on an intellectual level but, for whatever reason, the true value of its meaning never really clicked. Then, with time and the occurrence of a number of relationship issues in my own life, I started to feel and experience what this concept means. Relationships – in particular the more challenging ones – are in factor our greatest teachers. Why? Well it comes back to another age-old piece of wisdom, about knowing yourself.
Relationships show us who we areâ€¦
To know who we are unlocks a key to our destiny and our fundamental relationship with the universe. To know ourselves we have to become self-aware, we have to take the blindfold off our defensives and ego and see clearly the way we are and what is truly going on inside of us. But, how can we really see our behaviour when our view of ourselves is always clouded by our own inherent bias and conditioning?Â How can we let go of things we donâ€™t know exist? This is where the power of relationships comes in. They are the magic mirror on the wall that reflects the clear view of us.
Our perception creates our reality…
Our relationships reveal two things to us. Firstly, our own view of the universe and the world around us and, secondly, other peopleâ€™s view and experience of us. Let us look at an example. Iâ€™m sitting down at a bar, comfortably settled on a stool, glass of cold beer in my hand and munching on peanuts. You come in and join me. I start to share my philosophy of life and people with you. I tell you that there are two types of people in this world. There are untrustworthy scam artists who are out to steal, cheat and exploit at every opportunity and then there are gullible suckers who are dumb enough to trust in others at their own peril. Do you think that that perspective is actually reality and a fact of all of humanity? Or, do you think that this person is sharing a view of people based on their own experience of life? If you were to believe this to be true, how do you think it would affect the way in which you relate to others? How would it influence your ability to be close to others and to accept unconditional kindness and love? Maybe for this person they did at one point in life trust others. I am sure that to see the world this way isnâ€™t an inherent belief from birth but rather itâ€™s a perspective that has developed based on their experiences and how they have responded to these experiences. If you believe in a self-created universe, the fact is that if this person really does see people in this way, eventually this view will be mirrored back to them in the way people treat them. This will then only reinforce their beliefs and so the cycle continues.